You can’t have a positive life with a negative mouth…

There I was alone, really alone, in an area I had no idea about.  Frustrated, annoyed, discouraged, and down right mad.  And then, He reached out to me.  God was there when nobody else was. 

For 17 years I have been with the man that I thought would be my life partner.  After  learning so much from him, giving him so much of my life and loving him deeper then I thought possible, he decided he didn’t want to be married any longer.  This was a man that I attribute so much of who I am, to.  When we met, I was a young girl that knew nothing about God, hunting, or life’s real struggles.  Since, I have become such an independent, God fearing-woman because of him.  And I won’t forget to include that this once-almost-anti-hunter-little girl, has come to have a passion for hunting.

After the divorce, I was struggling so much to even get out to hunt anything.  I had an early season Mule deer archery tag in a new area that I was originally looking forward to hunting with my husband.  Hunting was always such a good time for us; no matter what else was going on.  But it was very clear at the beginning of the season that the togetherness that I always looked forward to was not going to be there.  After years of hunting really big, high country, by foot, I found myself so unmotivated and even depressed that I was trying to road hunt for an archery tag.  Pretty sad, huh?!  I found myself in one pity party after another and finally started questioning why I like hunting so much.  This was no fun.  I had nobody to share my adventures with anymore.  I was so alone.  I was doing more soul searching (or I thought I was) than hunting.  But one problem was that I kept feeling sorry for myself.  Almost mourning what I had lost:  my best friend. 

I had gone out for a couple days by myself.  A friend had let me stay in her cabin about 2 hours from home.  It had no shower but it did have phone and satellite TV.  I headed out at 4am for my first morning, with four wheeler on the trailer in tow.  As I was taking a turn that was heavily embanked by a rock face to my right, I felt the trailer jump and saw sparks flying in my rear view mirror.  I turned around to find that one of the loading ramps that stores on the side of the trailer had come loose, slid out enough to catch a road marker and be ripped the remainder of the way out of the trailer, only to hit the road, slide and get a bit bent out of shape.  As I loaded it up, my only thought was that this was gonna put me behind for the day’s hunt.  The morning went pretty well, didn’t see many deer, but I did see a few, just very hard to put a sneak on.  Nevada is pretty much a spot and stalk hunt area.  Heavy trees and a whole lot of really noisy skunk weed can really inhibit a hunt.  Anyhow, about 2 in the afternoon, my period unexpectedly started.  And I was completely unprepared.  Augh!  I head off the mountain early to try to get to the general store before they closed to get the supplies I needed for such a visitor!  I drove frantically for 20 minutes to arrive at the store 15 minutes before their closing time, which apparently is not strictly followed.  They closed early!!!  The only place for hours and they closed early!!! AUGH!  As I turned to walk back to the truck and trailer, I noticed that the trailer had a flat tire.  No biggie, I’ll just change it.  There was NO SPARE!  Oh my, can things get much worse?!  Not having any choice, I drove the trailer back to the cabin and figured I would drop it and just load the 4 wheeler in the pickup bed and get the flat repaired when I head back home.  After dropping the trailer and backing the truck to a small hill, I was ready to load the 4 wheeler up.  I drive an older standard Ford F250, and sometimes the parking brake does not hold, so I have to turn off the truck and park it in gear, which I did, so I could get out to load the 4 wheeler.  When I got back into the truck to start it, nothing happened.  The truck would not start.  The battery decided it was done, just like that!  I was gonna freak!  Here I am, in a hunting unit that I know nothing about; I destroyed a trailer ramp; had a flat tire; the truck died and my period started.  And it was all my ex-husband’s fault!!!  ALL of it, even the period!  My logic was that if he hadn’t walked out, I would not be alone in this.  Pretty selfish, huh? 

After a half hour of crying and pouting, I pulled myself together and went inside.  I flopped myself on the couch and turned on the TV.  Joyce Meyers was on.  (Joyce is a Christian evangelist that gives some of the most powerful messages I have ever heard and they always seem to be the right ones at the right time.)  One of the first things she said was “you can not have a positive life with a negative mouth.”  That caught my attention.  Then God proceeded to thump me on the head with more of her message about not being able to move on with your life if you are stuck in the past and feeling sorry for yourself.  WOW!  Did that hit home.  God came in just when I was loneliest and ready to throw up the white flag.  I realized that Satan was working very hard to take one more thing that I love dearly away from me.  Hunting.  He was trying to make me resent it.  I was not gonna let that happen.  I might have sold the guide service in the divorce, but I love hunting; I have not sold my passion for it.  I love picking up my bow and knowing that I can get 10 yards from a Pope and Young deer.  (I may not always remember that I am supposed to shoot it when I get there, but I still can get there!  HA!  (I need a cheat sheet that I can paste on my bow so I can refer to it when the buck fever hits and the brain fries!!)

I can’t say that I really know the point I am trying to make with this story, but I feel like I really needed to share it.  I guess it doesn’t matter what is going on in your life, let God control it and comfort you.  God brings peace.  When your life seems totally chaotic, remember to get on your knees and let God have it. 

To me hunting is so much more than what animal you can bring home.  I never did fill my tag during this season, but I have truly brought home so much more than a Mule deer that I could mount on a wall. 

God Bless

Julie Hughes